ehyde

The year is coming to an end and I'm... distressed. The christmas stuff is overwhelming and stressful, there are two events at work, and there's also the lack of sunlight (not extreme like the far north, but my body and my brain still resent it). I need to go and sit under the sun for five minutes periodically, and keep drinking warm water to be at least a little bit warm. And I wish every day I could just hibernate and wake up when there's a bit more sunlight. Gosh, I wish I could live in a place where the weather is always mild, or be able to migrate south for the winter, like a bird. Anyway, here’s my update. 


Finished watching
Dramas

• Zomvivor (Thai Drama) – 7 episodes
• The Cursed Love (Thai BL) – 10 episodes
• Punks Triangle (Japanese BL) – 8 episodes
• The Wicked Game (Thai BL) – 10 episodes

Currently writing

• Khemjira Fic - 4016 words
• Secret omegaverse story - 1578

Currently reading

• SVSSS Vol. 4 - Chapter 26
• Counterattack - Chapter 198
• Panguan - Chapter 31

Currently watching
Dramas

• Me and Who (Thai BL) – Fridays – 8/10 episodes
• Mystique in the Mirror (Thai BL) – Wednesdays – 6/8 episodes
• Goddess Bless You From Death (Thai BL) – Fridays – 5/13 episodes
• Runaway (Thai GL) – Tuesdays – 2/8 episodes
• ClaireBell (Thai GL) – Saturdays – 4/8 episodes
• Interminable (Thai BL) – Fridays – 4/11 episodes
• Me and Thee (Thai BL) – Saturdays – 3/10 episodes
• Burnout Syndrome (Thai BL) – Wednesdays – 1/10 episodes
• Thundercloud Rainstorm (Korean BL) – Fridays – 2/8 episodes
• Heated Rivalry (Canadian mini series) – Fridays (?) – 1/6 episodes

Documentary

• Debo, puedo y quiero: Juan Gabriel (Mexican documentary) – No Schedule – 3/4 episodes

Anime

• Sanrio Danshi – No schedule – 8/12 episodes

On Hold

Anime

• Komi Can’t Communicate – No schedule – 4/24 episodes
• Rokuhōdō Yotsuiro Biyori – No schedule – 2/12 episodes

Dramas

• The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL) – No schedule – 2/12 episodes
• Perfect 10 Liners (Thai BL) – No schedule – 4/24 episodes
• The Long Ballad (Chinese Drama) – No schedule – 5/49 episodes
• Theory of Love (Thai BL) – No schedule – 2/12 episodes

Last time I posted an update, I wrote this: “As expected, I've started watching a ton of things again.” And guess what? Well, you can probably guess.

Okay, but first, let’s talk about the things I finished watching:

Zomvivor: I admit most of the characters were a bit exasperating most of the time, but I don’t know… I feel like I’ve become more and more forgiving. I ended up liking the show, and now that there seem to be plans for a second season, I’m curious. I saw many folks were pissed about the ending, but I wasn't. First of all, because I’ve never hated open endings; they’ve been part of my media diet growing up, so they don’t bother me at all. Second, to me, it’s clear they planned to continue the story. Third, even though I can seem full of rage about some stuff, there are things I just can’t be mad about because anger is very energy-consuming, and nowadays I try to be more conscious about what I spend my energy on. Anyway, if there’s really a second season, hopefully we won’t have to wait as many years as people waited for this one.

The Cursed Love: At times it was a bit of a chore to keep watching, but there were enough elements to keep me curious. Sadly, the script was also a bit messy and felt very incomplete somehow. I kinda liked the ending because I’m a sucker for that kind of finale, though.

Spoilers ahead, in case anyone here cares lol

I liked that Siwat ended up dying because it fit the title of the show. I assume the new guy with Siwat's face who showed up at the end is going to be some sort of reincarnation? No idea how, but who are very physically alike do exist, so maybe his soul just chose a new vessel who looks a lot like his past incarnation? I don’t even know. I usually like to think about what could happen post-canon, and if I were more invested in this story, I would even try to write (or think about) a fic, but alas. I usually like endings where everybody dies, but one of the deaths here felt pointless and undeserved.

And, not gonna lie, the whole time I kept thinking: “this is a situation that polyamory would solve… whatever these three have going on.” But I know asking for a poly BL might be a bit much still. That reminds me that I want to watch Two Husbands One Wife and Three Will Be Free. But going back to this show: it was an interesting premise, but the execution could have been much better. The actor who played Siwat was very pretty.

Punks Triangle: I ended up bingeing episodes 1-7 last Sunday when existential dread attacked again, and it was fun and cute. I really appreciate Japanese BLs; they have a very particular vibe I like a lot. And I really need to watch more of them. According to MDL, where I’ve tracked all the Japanese BLs I’ve seen, I’ve only watched 23. That’s kinda outrageous. But talking specifically about this one, I really liked the struggles of the protagonists, each with their own insecurities and their craving for connection. It has some very sexy moments that made me blush even though they’re not explicit at all. I love when a series does that with an ear touch or... fingers in a mouth. I am a sucker (lol) for fingers in mouth scenes. It makes me think of Old Fashion Cupcake and My Personal Weatherman off the top of my head… anyway, I liked this one.

The Wicked Game: I’ve talked about my philosophy of not having high expectations, and how it saves me from big disappointments, right? Well, it helped a lot in this case. I admit I enjoyed it; it was fun and unhinged, and very telenovelesca, but I kinda wanted it to go the dark route.

Spoilers ahead

It gave me Risa as the winner of the wicked game (sorry, sorry), but very briefly. For a moment, I thought Chet and Peem were both dead, but since we never saw Peem’s corpse, I knew he wasn’t, and that was what disappointed me. Another disappointing thing was that they didn’t give us even a little kiss between Chet and Park, but I’m letting that one slide because Park ended up being killed by Risa’s bodyguard after he killed Risa, and that kind of devotion is also very sexy, so… yeah. Again, I like “everyone dies” finales, and I kinda wanted this one to be like that… better luck next time, I guess. In the end, Than inherited everything Peem left him after faking his death, and then Peem came back with a new name to start over. I just hope Than doesn’t insist on going back to being a cop, because ew, dude. He can clean his name, and then maybe open a restaurant. I don’t know.

I enjoyed it overall, but yeah, I wanted it to be darker than it was. But again, I’m not really mad.

I'm not gonna talk about every show I’m watching or I’ll never end this update.

I keep enjoying Me and Thee. It makes me laugh a lot, but it has tender moments too. I immediately adopted Theerakit Kian Lee. He’s my adopted son now. I just love how over the top and socially awkward he is. I love the patience Peach has for him, and how Thee is learning how to behave like a normal person lol. Some of his behavior reminds me of myself, and maybe that’s one of the reasons I immediately fell in love with him: he memorizes the lines of his favorite shows and uses them as his own lines in everyday life, and he needs to be told about some very basic stuff that people take for granted because he genuinely doesn’t understand. Yeah… Anyway, it’s been a delight, and I look forward to every new episode.

I haven’t watched this week’s episode of ClaireBell because I was busy yesterday, and today I was very out of it—very distracted and unable to pay attention to anything—so I really didn’t watch anything today. But this one is so good (I hope episode 5 is good too). It makes my heart ache, but I like how this couple of girls have found each other in such a dark and terrible place. I’m sure things are gonna be a bit dark/violent in the next episodes, but that’s very fitting.

I started THREE new shows this week, so my watching list remains the same :) I don’t learn, but I don’t care. One of the things that keeps me interested in living are my little shows, so I’ll take it for as long as I can. The other big motive to stay alive is the kid, but as I’ve never been the ideal selfless parent, I need selfish motives too… things for myself only. Don’t judge me too harshly for this; we hold onto what we can.

I started Burnout Syndrome because when I watched the pilot trailer last year, it was one of the few that made me perk my ears up and go "wow, wow." The first episode was such a strong start. Jira (Gun Atthaphan) is an artist who struggles with being unemployed; he’s burnt out, or at least that’s what they’re calling it (he seems very depressed, I mean… it’s part of it too), and he’s also very broke. So yeah, yeah… been there, very relatable. He goes to an interview and the person interviewing him keeps asking if he knows how to use “AI”, and when he says he would prefer not to, the woman confronts him because his resume says he’s adaptable. That also felt like a punch in the gut, because those same words have been used against me in very similar circumstances regarding “AI” too. Then, Ing, his friend, sends him to a bar “to heal,” and he ends up meeting Pheem (Dew Jirawat). Later, Ing also gets him a companionship gig that goes wrong, and there he meets Koh (Off Jumpol), who ends up hiring him as a companion (different guy from the failed gig). It’s going to be messy, or at least it seems like it, but gosh… the colors, the music, the whole mood were exquisite. I also like how they incorporate the art in the episode. They hired an artist, and I think I fell in love with her art. If she ever sells prints, I’d love to buy one (or more). It’s very sensual art. This is her account: naisu.chirat

The other show I started is a Korean BL called Thundercloud Rainstorm. Discord pals lured me in with talk of a “toxic, incestuous relationship, and very sexy.” Of course, I had to give it a chance. I liked the first two episodes. It’s going to be short; we’ll see how it goes.

Lastly, also thanks to the Discord pals, I started watching Heated Rivalry. This one is Canadian. It’s about two hockey players who are rivals but become fuck buddies, and, if I remember correctly, they also end up falling in love at some point. The first episode was good; very high heat, as the title suggests. I haven’t watched episode 2 because I’ve been struggling a bit this weekend, but I hope to catch up before the next one is released.

From the shows I didn’t go into detail here, I’m just gonna list them in the order I’m enjoying and looking forward to them the most:

• Me and Who (Thai BL) – This one is so cute and I’m enjoying the main couple a lot.
• Goddess Bless You From Death (Thai BL) – This one keeps being scary. The ghosts have given me jump scares every single episode lol. I’m also enjoying PoohPavel a lot. I like their dynamics, and in the last episode, Singha’s expressions when Thup approached him were chef's kiss.
• Mystique in the Mirror (Thai BL) – I want to know what’s going ooooooooooooooon!
• Interminable (Thai BL) – Still feels a bit slow but… butts. They showed unpixelated butts, also… Khun Yai is a menace with no game, and Kaewta is the prettiest.
• Runaway (Thai GL) – Need to catch up on this one.

The next thing I want to talk about is how I’m enjoying writing my silly fics. But there are two: one is the Khemjira one, and I already have 4k words… I can’t believe it! I may even finish it before the year ends, but I don’t want to be too optimistic or ambitious. Then there’s the other one; it’s my first attempt at writing omegaverse, and even though it started as a way of venting about some corporeal stuff and is planned to mostly be PWP, I got sucked into several worldbuilding rabbit holes. I have been trying to figure out different aspects, like the anatomy I want to give the characters, the fricking scents, the suppressors, how it could affect certain kinds of jobs, etc. And even if I don’t end up integrating it all into the story, it’s interesting because, as a reader, I’ve always let myself be guided by whatever the authors chose to depict, and that was that, because it’s something each author can adapt and play with, so one story doesn’t dictate how others work. But writing is a whole different beast. A fun one, though. For now. I’m exhilarated because it’s been a while since I felt this need to write, so I’m letting myself enjoy it while it lasts. I also have another idea for a third fic, also based on Khemjira, but following a supporting character. It’s been weeks since I had the idea, but I haven’t written anything about it yet, not even the idea as a placeholder in my drafts, but I might need to do it ASAP. Every time I listen to “Ride or Die” by Jeff Satur, it reminds me of the idea, so, yeah…

And that’s it for now.